When you don't know what comes next...
Have you ever stopped moving long enough to realize how uncomfortable stopping feels?
This weekend, I made space for two whole days off “work”
Two. Whole. Days.
For some people, that may sound perfectly normal. For me, it felt mildly illegal.
I love my work. It’s part of who I am.
But stepping away gave me room to nurture other parts of myself—and to slow down enough to notice the presence, beauty, and magic of the people I love.
It also made me think about fear, because once upon a time, I was so tight and so scheduled, I was afraid if I stop, I'll fall apart.
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FEAR DOESN’T ONLY LIVE IN THE MIND
Fear lives in the body.
It can look like clenched shoulders, a tight jaw, shallow breathing, restless sleep, digestive issues, chronic tension—or an inability to sit still without remembering 47 things that “need” to be done.
The body prepares us to survive before the mind has explained the danger.
Then the mind joins in.
It predicts, rehearses, and tries to create what’s certain by planning for every possible outcome—including several that have never happened and probably never will.
And the spirit?
The spirit can contract, too. We lose connection with the present and stop trusting ourselves, God, life, or anything we cannot control. Focused on protecting what is good—or preparing for what might go wrong—we miss the life happening right in front of us.
Fear is real. But it grows when we leave the present and begin living in an imagined future.
BONUS• • • Crash Course: Emotion, Stress, and Health—Crash Course Psychology #26 (10:19). Hank Green talks about how emotions and stress relate to health.
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WHAT IF WE DON’T HAVE TO CONQUER FEAR?
The image out there is that we have to get bigger and stronger to eliminate fear as an experience.
LET'S GET REAL.
Fear is part of being human. The goal isn’t to become fearless; it’s to recognize when WE are using it to protect, stay safe FOR REAL—
and when it is feeding us false evidence appearing real.
Most times, sorry to break it to you, this means doing it afraid, LIKE shit your pants afraid in my case.
Sometimes it looks like resting while your mind FULLY believes everything will fall apart if you stop.
Sometimes it looks like admitting you don’t know what comes next—
and resisting the urge to build the entire life plan before lunch.
Think about the old story of two wolves living inside each of us:
one fed by fear, anger, resentment, and scarcity;
the other by love, compassion, hope, and courage.
The wolf that grows is the one we feed. The one we CHOOSE.
Fear and love may both show up, but we decide which one receives our energy.
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WHAT COULD YOU CREATE IN THE INTERIM?
Uncertainty means space, something we all CRAVE in this busy world.
So fill it with predictions, panic, and control—or create something there.
-A breath.
-A conversation with the friend you’ve been thinking about.
-A boundary with the person who’s been pushing too hard.
-PLAY with your spouse or your kids.
-NEW possibility or that dream you won’t even acknowledge is there.
-The afternoon without productivity being the price of our worth.
THESE are the experiences that build JOY, gratitude, and the things worth living for...
THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE
When fear pulls you into the future, STOP and ask:
What is actually true in this moment?
Feel your feet. BREATHE space into your jaw. Let your out breath lengthen.
Then ask:
What could I create here instead of feeding the fear?
You don’t need the whole plan. You only need enough presence to choose what you feed next. What’s real? NOW.
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A FEW WAYS TO CONNECT
I’m rebuilding my social self at @wholeandhuman.britt.
If something I share has helped you feel more human, grounded, or less alone, please follow the new page and share it with a friend. Helping the right people find me means more than you know.
You can also explore my bodywork and whole-person offerings or schedule a session at Work With Me. If anything shared resonates with you, REACH out.
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WALKING FOR MENTAL HEALTH
The NAMIWalks New Orleans event is September 26, and there is still time to participate or support the cause.
Mental health touches every body, family, and community. If you’d like to walk with us or make a donation, visit My NAMIWalks Page.
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Fear may come with you.
Let it ride in the car. Just don’t hand it the keys, control the music, or let it reroute the entire trip.
Keep plugging away—but remember that forward movement is not always visible. Sometimes it looks like action. Sometimes it looks like rest. Sometimes it means staying present long enough to notice that, right now, you are okay.
You do not have to conquer fear before you begin.
You can breathe.
You can choose.
You can do it afraid.
With grit and grace,
Brittany
More than wellness. All of being human.
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