In the study of yoga, there’s a collection of all the ancient theories and teachings, called the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. One of the earliest sutras is Yogash chitta vritti nirodhah, which means “to still or calm the fluctuations of the mind”. When we think about HOW to go about doing this, the most common practice offered is meditation. Ultimately a meditation practice IS the route to exercise control of the mind, to narrow the concentration, and quiet the conscious thoughts so that we can become more aware of our subconscious beliefs. For a lot of us, it feels impossible to go from the state of consciousness we’re in to a completely quiet mind. It can seem really unnatural and abrupt, and we resist it, not because we don’t WANT to try it, but because we feel like it’s so far out of our reach and that we are not good at being still and quiet. That’s where MOST of us in this room are, just beginning to uncover that quiet voice inside our hearts that tells us it’s OKAY to rest, it’s OKAY to let go. So the question shifts from asking ourselves, how do I meditate better, to asking, how can I take who I am and where I am in this moment and nudge it a little closer to where I want to go? How can we take our existence right now and move towards not just stillness but healing for the deepest parts of us that we are keeping hidden?
Recently on a podcast, I heard a trauma expert say that a huge part our subconscious understanding of the world is developed around 7-8 years old. Think about how life feels for a 7 year old or for any child. Their “traumas” often seem small and unimportant to us, but for them that’s their only reality. That’s all they know, its how they experience life and everyone in it. No matter what tactics we use to influence children, they just can’t imagine anything other than what they know, what they’ve experienced. In the very same way we can’t see the possibility of something until we adjust the filter, the subconscious, until we quiet down enough to hear the inner child that is scared or hurt or feels inadequate.
So how do we make the jump from where we are to a quiet, still mind? The simplest answer is that we don’t. Just like our practice, we aren’t experts overnight. We do the work and we show up in faith that what we take away will grow us. What we can do is pay attention every moment to how we show up to the parts of our lives that already bring us joy. Instead of fighting our minds to sit in silence that we are convinced we don’t have time for, maybe we find stillness in the small spaces of life, the places that we are more ready to receive it, like on the drive with your kids in the morning, maybe turning the radio off and enjoying that focused time, or in your practice, really listening for your own heartbeat and the breath of those around you, so that its not about forcing space or silence into our lives, but building it quietly and intentionally so that it weaves itself in. It can literally be active meditation, anywhere in our lives, while we are walking, breathing, doing dishes, or while picking up our mats today.
After a lot of trial and error, I have built it into my nighttime ritual with my 2.5 year old because she LOVES to chant and sing. I used to be really hard on myself for not waking up earlier to meditate in SILENCE. I believed I wasn’t committed enough, that if I really wanted to benefit, I would be able to wake up earlier and make the space for myself. That line of thinking just kept the narrative going that I’m not enough and really kept me at odds with my own family.
And the very premise of quieting the mind is that We ARE enough. Maybe we need to loosen our grip on what we expect that to look like. Maybe we find stillness and grow intention, naturally building more space in, rather than feeling like the meditation is something more on the checklist, another self care skill that we are failing at. In your own experience today, maybe you challenge that long-held idea of what your life should look like, who you should be, or what your growth should look like. That idea you’re holding may not even be based on what’s real and purposeful in your life. It could be something you’re holding onto and trying to resolve from a long time ago, but doesn’t even apply to who or what you’re growing into here and now. So today and this week, connect to something or someone who reminds you that you are here and that all you have is this moment, right now, to bring your mind fully to and appreciate. Start to watch your breath, hear the breath of the living being next to you, let any thoughts or worries come to you without attaching worth or energy to them. Just let them come and let them go. And stay with yourself here, for a few moments fully listening, fully open to the possibilities.
Just for kicks, here's a sweet recording of the chant my daughter loves to "meditate" with!